I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize