you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
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no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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