I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
