O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
