Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
