Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
