Farmville is her only friend.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
