apparently the secret to your success is patron
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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