Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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