So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
