I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
