I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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