Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
