What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you win again, gameday.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
