he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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