Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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