We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize