bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
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she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
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He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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