I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
