I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
