okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
