he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
