Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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