I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
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She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
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I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize