Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
