why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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