oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
