I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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