so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
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there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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