just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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