his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
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She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
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my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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