Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
