um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize