Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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