And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
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Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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