Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
