i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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