she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
