the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
