Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my shit smells like andre
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
