I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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