when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
