home. puking in laundry basket.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
