my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize