she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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