fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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