Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
