So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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