the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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