I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
