I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize