Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
