she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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