How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
