friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
