I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
