Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
not ubering you a puppy
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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